When someone approaches you for advice, it is often a challenge to help without hindering or driving the situation. The risk is in making a decision on behalf of the person that you are trying to help, either knowingly or unknowingly. Here are a few tips to help put you in the right frame of mind:
Eliminate Expectations
You can’t independently council or advise someone if you have expectations of the outcome. It gets even harder if you prefer one outcome over another. When you come in with expectations, there is a subconscious tendency to influence the situation to your benefit. Putting aside expectations is not an easy task; it requires you to tap into your inner wisdom rather than your ego.
Listen
Seems obvious, and it is. So why do we have so much trouble doing it? I’m not talking about waiting until your friend is done talking and then responding; I’m talking about thinking about nothing else except what is being said while your friend is talking. Listening means not anticipating the next word out of their mouth, forming your response before the statements are finished, or searching your history for a “time when that happened” to you.
Don’t Offer Advice
Didn’t see that one coming, did you? Instead, offer questions. In most cases, it is impossible for you to know what’s best for someone else. To one of my earlier posts, you shouldn’t can’t solve someone else’s problem. Inner wisdom, or Judgment, in alignment with spirit will empower you to ask the right questions. Well formed questions provide greater context in which to consider. Remember though, you can’t ask the right questions until you’ve eliminated expectations.